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科技写作漫谈 -避免冗长和累赘

 



多余的词和短语是对其他的词和短语的过度修饰。科技论文中很多句子显得复杂是因为冗长, 作者应该尽可能简洁、明晰。


例:High pH values have been observed to occur in areas that have been determined to have few pine trees.

 

修改:High pH values occur in areas with few pine trees.

 

下列单词在文中毫无意义,可以并应该予以省略: actually, basically, essentially, fairly, much, really, practically, quite, rather, several, very, virtually

 

下列括号中的词均属多余,应予省略: (already) existing, at (the)present(time), (basic) fundamentals, blue (in color), cold (temperature), (completely) eliminate, (currently) underway, each (individual), each and every [二选其一], (end) result, estimated (roughly) at, (final) out come, first (and foremost), (future) plans, (main) essentials, never (before), period (of time), reason is (because), (still) persists, (true) facts

 

某些用来介绍前期研究或成果的短语通常是不必要的, 省略这些短语可以更简洁地表述事实。

 

: It is well known that there are three subtypes of the KL-2 Virus.

 

修改:There are three subtypes of the KL-2 virus

 

例:In a previous study, it was demonstrated that “nanowire” devices with excellent sensing characteristics can be defined by TMAH etching.

 

修改:“Nanowire” devices with excellent sensing characteristics can be defined by TMAH etching.

 

 

 

练习:修改例句中下划线部分,删除不必要的词语

 

1.         The following strains were obtained by the courtesy of Dr. U. Miller (University of Minnesota).

 

2.         The data of the analysis on cell cycle parameters are shown in Fig.1.They have revealed that the cell cycle is controlled by factor X.

 

3.         After 2 hr of incubation of CO2 on an Ag (110) surface, we ended the incubation procedure.

 

4.         It is known that homologous recombination is the preferred mechanism of DNA repair in yeast.

 

5.         The effect of temperature on conductivity was examined and found not to change dramatically.

 

6.         Often, jewel weed can be found to grow in close proximity to poison ivy. (Two corrections needed.)

 

7.         Transduction efficiencies in vivo were much higher than transduction efficiencies in vitro.

 

8.         Upon heat activation, filament size increased, and the number of buds decreased, Both the increase in filament length and the decrease in the number of buds were only seen for cytokinin mutants.

 

9.         Although transition metals have the capability of forming bonds with six shared electron pairs, only quadruply bonded compounds can be isolated as stable species at room temperature.

 

10.     After infecting a host cell, a herpes viral DNA genome enters the nucleus where it is transcribed from DNA to RNA to both messenger RNAs (mRNAs)and noncoding RNAs (ncRNAs).

 

参考答案

 

1.         The following strains were courteously provided by or obtained from Dr. U. Miller (University of Minnesota).

 

2.         The data of the analysis on cell cycle parameters have revealed that the cell cycle is advanced by factor X (Fig. 1).

 

3.         After 2 hr, we ended the incubation of CO2 on a Ag(110) surface.

 

4.         Homologous recombination is the preferred mechanism of DNA repair in yeast.

 

5.         The effect of temperature on conductivity was found not to change dramatically. OR The effect of temperature on conductivity did not change dramatically.

 

6.         Often, jewel weed grows Close to poison ivy.

 

7.         Transduction efficiencies in vivo were much higher than those in vitro.

 

8.         Upon heat activation, filament size increased, and the number of buds decreased. Both of these changes were only seen for cytokinin mutants.

 

9.         Although transition metals can form bonds with six shared electron pairs, only quadruply bonded compounds can be isolated as stable species at room temperature.

 

10.     After infecting a host cell, a herpes viral DNA genome enters the nucleus where it is transcribed to both messenger RNAs (mRNAs) and noncoding RNAs (ncRNAs).

 

摘编自《科技写作与交流》(任胜利 . 科学出版社, 2012年出版)



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